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 Mason's
Meditations
If
you're looking for something to chew over, some thoughtful seeds
for mental cultivation, bookmark this page for Jeff Mason's monthly
meditations. To think in or take away...
Number
Thirty Three: Extreme Old Age
The
end of a long life is not a pleasant prospect. We tend not to think
about it. Should old age overtake us, what we find, as Eliot tells
us, is "the cold friction of expiring sense." Our physical
capabilities crumble, and tasks that we could have done easily not
so many years ago are now impossible to do. With extreme old age
comes pain and debilitation and the knowledge that one will never
"get well" again. This may be the key difference between
being merely old and extremely old. The body’s powers of recuperation
are strong, and a state of terminal decline may be late in coming.
Some
people are already old at 60 and extremely old at 80. Others add
ten years and only get to extreme old age in their 90’s or
100’s. We can think of life as a series of books. Infancy and
extreme old age are the bookends of life, and each is strangely
outside the life that we live between them. When we are very young
or very old, our movements are monitored and circumscribed. We are
cared for, because we cannot look after ourselves due to lack of
strength or agility. However, while a world of plans opens up for
the young, the world contracts for the very old, and there is no
more time for plans. Things that matter to the very young cease
to matter to the elderly. Movement decreases. Reality becomes more
sedentary. The future is tonight and tomorrow. Most people seem
to strive to live indefinitely even though they know they are mortal.
The world goes on its way regardless, and it is easy, at the end,
to feel like a fifth wheel, surplus to requirements.
The
mind starts to go in old age. Luckily, it may go slowly, and in
fact may retain much of its character to the end. Not counting diseases
that affect the brain, the very old can still think and be aware
of their own state and prospects, and aware of the world falling
away. This may be a source of pain or relief. The very old are not
really needed for anything, haven’t much to do and aren’t
expected to do much. It would be easy to feel like a fifth wheel
living out the final bookend of life. A long life prepares an extreme
old age. If one gets there rightly prepared, perhaps it, too, has
a contribution to make to a life well lived.
Extreme
old age is a rehearsal for death proper. Nothing matters to the
dead, and less and less matters to the very old. My very old aunt,
before she died, gave up playing cards with friends with whom she
had played for years. She wanted to get rid of the silverware, and
settle all her accounts. By snipping away the ties that bind us
to the earth, she was getting ready to sever all connections with
it. Some people die quietly as if they were putting down a burden,
others fight to the end. At other times, perhaps, a benign nature
makes death easy for the very old to accept, since life’s beguilements
are no more, and we cease to care for the things we would have missed
at earlier times of our lives.
.
Mason's
Meditations will next be updated early June 2003
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